Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
