Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
