I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
