using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
