I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Will exercising make me less horny?
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