i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1045 607 share tweet
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
