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• (905): View more from Toronto

  me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.

  Fav 11 1272 4759

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.

  Fav 10 2099 1515

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (347): View more from New York

  The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse

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• (253): View more from Washington

  We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915

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