Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
