would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
