what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.