After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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