who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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