this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
