your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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