dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
