New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
