I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
