No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
