I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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