I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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