You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
