He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
