That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
