just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
