sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
