If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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