you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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