Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
