still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
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Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Someone signed my nipple.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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