I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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