I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
