Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
