my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
