I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize