I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
