I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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