Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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