covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
