idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
