When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
