Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
