new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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