She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
