Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
