Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
