my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
