spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
