Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
