I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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