Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize