More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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