If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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