After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
