When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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