***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
