If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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