I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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