I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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