Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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