Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize