Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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