I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize