oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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