this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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