If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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