I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i believe in u and ur pee
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