this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
