Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
