you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize